From the mouth of Mike.
I know I sound like a broken record, but Ive lost it. We were told today by the surgical team that they have no clue on when Lucas can go home. It could be 3 or more months, who knows?
I enjoy seeing him each day and seeing him smile at me when I walk in. With work some days I only see him for 1 hour, it's very tough. Let me tell you there's not a day I don't cry as I leave him for the night, it's just so incredible hard to leave your baby. The older three boys are all struggling and each night as they say there prayers they wish we could all be home together. It's so hard to balance life. I just wish somebody had a answer for Lucas. I try to be positive but after 6 months this just eats me up. I just can't stop crying.
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From the mouth of Allison.
I try to come to the hospital each morning with a smile. But today I can't stop crying. Everything builds up and it is now hitting me. Sorry this is a negative post. But hey the last one was positive! Lucas is not tolerating any feeds. Today we did another x-ray which showed as always a lot of gas and barium from 2 weeks ago! Things are not moving at all. Leaving my baby in the hospital is the hardest thing to do. But I can't stay here for weeks when I have 3 other boys at home. The doctors give us contradicting information. The GI doc thinks we did a great job at home, and we can do what ever we want. The surgeon team wants Lucas to stay until he is at least 1/2 feedings. Who knows how long that could take! I has requested a care conference with social worker, GI team, Surgeon and primary nurses. I try to be positive and patient but I don't know how much more I can take. I seriously think I could give him the same care at home. It is hard to keep up with the other boys as well. I HATE leaving my sweet baby!!!! Any suggestions?
I know I sound like a broken record, but Ive lost it. We were told today by the surgical team that they have no clue on when Lucas can go home. It could be 3 or more months, who knows?
I enjoy seeing him each day and seeing him smile at me when I walk in. With work some days I only see him for 1 hour, it's very tough. Let me tell you there's not a day I don't cry as I leave him for the night, it's just so incredible hard to leave your baby. The older three boys are all struggling and each night as they say there prayers they wish we could all be home together. It's so hard to balance life. I just wish somebody had a answer for Lucas. I try to be positive but after 6 months this just eats me up. I just can't stop crying.
Video Tribute Reminder
From the mouth of Allison.
I try to come to the hospital each morning with a smile. But today I can't stop crying. Everything builds up and it is now hitting me. Sorry this is a negative post. But hey the last one was positive! Lucas is not tolerating any feeds. Today we did another x-ray which showed as always a lot of gas and barium from 2 weeks ago! Things are not moving at all. Leaving my baby in the hospital is the hardest thing to do. But I can't stay here for weeks when I have 3 other boys at home. The doctors give us contradicting information. The GI doc thinks we did a great job at home, and we can do what ever we want. The surgeon team wants Lucas to stay until he is at least 1/2 feedings. Who knows how long that could take! I has requested a care conference with social worker, GI team, Surgeon and primary nurses. I try to be positive and patient but I don't know how much more I can take. I seriously think I could give him the same care at home. It is hard to keep up with the other boys as well. I HATE leaving my sweet baby!!!! Any suggestions?
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5 comments:
I am sooo sorry you guys have to go through such an extreme trial. I wished that there was something more I could do for you. You are in our prayers every single day. It breaks my heart to see you guys go through this. All I can say is just hang in there a little longer. The Lord knows you and will step in when you can no longer handle this. You have been given this trial for a reason. Love you guys!!!!!!!!
Allison, you know you can do the job at home...you have done it before and he did so much better....there is something to be said for "being together as a family" that is strengthening little Lucas...he has good care at the hospital, but he feels the strain as well not being with his brothers and family......I know we don't tell the Lord what needs to be done, but in my prayers today, it is that you can go home and be together as a family....I am fully convinced that that is the best place for him right now...he won't feel the stress and be able to work on his feedings at home in comfort and safety.....keep up the faith, you guys are doing great....the tears are a release and very much needed...let them out!!! This is a hard challenge for you, but I know, and the Lord knows you can do it...you have what it takes to go on....hang in there.
I just have to say AMEN to the previous comments. Really, as hard as it is, the Lord never gives us trials that we cannot handle. And He is ALWAYS there right by our side. Sometimes even carrying us along. You continue to be in our daily prayers, and we put your names into the temple each time we go. Your family is so precious and strong. You are such great examples to me. I also agree with LuAnn, being home probably helps Lucas out a lot. I will pray for this. Always remember that we love you guys, ans please don't ever hesitate to ask me for help!
I really like your quote of the day today Mike....it's powerful. I have been reading the conference messages. You might get some extra strength from Pres Uchtdorf's saturday morning talk "The Infinite Power of Hope"....what a great man and wonderful message...I encourage you to read it when you get one of your precious minutes...luv you guys
What can I say that hasn't already been said? No one can make the decision except you and I KNOW if you pray about it Heavenly Father will help you know what you should do. We are thinking of you and praying for you.
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